Reposting this here, cuz it's important to me. It's an old piece of writing I did, but it explains my gender issues pretty well.
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[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tedtalks/io-tillett-w…
This needs to be shared. Got me right in the feels, and I tried really hard to keep it together. Made it up to her statement on "the multiplicity of humanity" and couldn't stop the tears. Damn. And tonight my friends finally asked me what pronouns I really prefer.
So here it is folks. For those who want to know, I prefer Them, Ze or Hir. I won't force you to see my gender. I won't stuff It down your throat or anything, but you will see me brighten if you use these in reference to me. It will touch me to see you make that choice yourself, to decide to acknowledge my gender identity all on your own without my probing. This is how I choose to do things, and I don't recommend it for everyone. I won't feel hurt or less if you call me she, because I -know- who I am. Even when I wear feminine things, I am gender queer. I don't stop being so in a corset. I know I am "grey" and walk in a blurred gender space. I don't need anyone to validate who I am.
But if you choose to use my preferred pronouns, you can. And it will warm my heart to be accepted and acknowledged by you.
It's okay if you forget or mess up. We all do when learning. I have before, will likely do so again. As long as people try.
Its the trying that makes the world a better place.
I'm not going to argue about how someone pronounces something. Hir is third on my list of pronouns because it can be confusing, so Them and Ze are actually more preferred for me. For the record. I express the multiplicity in myself in many ways, hence Them.
And please, no bashing or hate. If this is not your preference, ignore this post and move on. But if you wish to try to understand, I hope you will read this and watch this video.
/Rant
--
[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tedtalks/io-tillett-w…
This needs to be shared. Got me right in the feels, and I tried really hard to keep it together. Made it up to her statement on "the multiplicity of humanity" and couldn't stop the tears. Damn. And tonight my friends finally asked me what pronouns I really prefer.
So here it is folks. For those who want to know, I prefer Them, Ze or Hir. I won't force you to see my gender. I won't stuff It down your throat or anything, but you will see me brighten if you use these in reference to me. It will touch me to see you make that choice yourself, to decide to acknowledge my gender identity all on your own without my probing. This is how I choose to do things, and I don't recommend it for everyone. I won't feel hurt or less if you call me she, because I -know- who I am. Even when I wear feminine things, I am gender queer. I don't stop being so in a corset. I know I am "grey" and walk in a blurred gender space. I don't need anyone to validate who I am.
But if you choose to use my preferred pronouns, you can. And it will warm my heart to be accepted and acknowledged by you.
It's okay if you forget or mess up. We all do when learning. I have before, will likely do so again. As long as people try.
Its the trying that makes the world a better place.
I'm not going to argue about how someone pronounces something. Hir is third on my list of pronouns because it can be confusing, so Them and Ze are actually more preferred for me. For the record. I express the multiplicity in myself in many ways, hence Them.
And please, no bashing or hate. If this is not your preference, ignore this post and move on. But if you wish to try to understand, I hope you will read this and watch this video.
/Rant
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